Over leven of overleven

2007-06-11T22:09:00.000+02:00

Weer onder de indruk van een liedje en het verhaal er achter: Cat's in the cradle van Harry Chapin. Hij schreef dit lied gebaseerd op een gedicht geschreven door zijn vrouw Sandy, geïnspireerd door zijn lange afwezigheden van thuis door de uitbouw van zijn carrière. Op 38-jarige leeftijd overleed hij in een auto-ongeval. Te vroeg om zijn kinderen die quality-time te geven waarvoor hij ruimte aan het maken was...

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

2007-03-09T02:10:00.000+01:00

God is de architect, de bron van de archetypen, degene die zich verbergt, maar subtiele aanwijzingen geeft waar hij zich verborgen houdt. Hij die gelooft en zijn blik richt niet op het natuurlijke, maar op het bovennatuurlijke in het natuurlijke leert Hem kennen.

Waarom toch komen we tot verrukking bij bepaalde samenstellingen van toonhoogten op een ritme en weer bij anderen niet? Waarom reduceren we een prachtige sterrenhemel niet tot een paar witte puntjes op een zwart vlak? Iets in ons geeft waarde, iets in ons beseft dat alles wat we zien en horen symbolen zijn voor een achterliggende realiteit. Op het moment dat je die symbolen als enige echte realiteit verheft kom je terecht bij een nihilisme die alles opslokt. De realiteit verliest volledig zijn waarde, als een biljet van 500 euro, dat plotseling maar tot een stukje papier wordt herleid.

Ook al zou je een tekening willen zien als een toevallig samengekomen groep lijntjes die geen betekenis hebben, toch zal de tekening in zijn geheel bekeken en onthouden worden. En een muziekstuk niet als afzonderlijke noten, maar als een geheel dat ons al dan niet raakt.

Alles heeft betekenis en zal uiteindelijk convergeren naar een waarheid die niet louter subjectief is. Symbolen kunnen door iedereen anders geïnterpreteerd en beladen worden, maar realiteit is eenduidig. We kunnen door de puzzel van de symbolen in elkaar te leggen een steeds beter idee vormen van de realiteit die zich zal manifesteren. Hoe beter we er in slagen om de ware realiteit achter de symbolen te onderscheiden, hoe meer we ons leven daarmee coherent kunnen laten convergeren en niet de pijn moeten meemaken van fouten. Want uiteindelijk zijn fouten of zonden datgene wat ons pijn zal doen als een computer die niet zal werken omdat ze verkeerd geassembleerd wordt en daardoor niet datgene doet wat we zouden willen dat het doet. Daarom stelt God zich in het verweer tegen de zonde. De zonde vernietigt ons, het maakt onze levensprojecten zinloos omdat het stenen zijn die niet passen in de geestelijke tempel die God met deze mensheid wilt maken en waar Hij zich aan wilt verankeren. Hij heeft immers besloten om de ware kerk tot zijn bruid te maken, Hij die bepaalt heeft wat trouw is, wilt met ons trouwen. Een trouw die eeuwig en absoluut is en waarbij alle superlatieven van toepassing zijn.

Hoe weet ik dit? Ik weet het niet, maar als ik de puzzelstukjes één voor één plaats voel ik gewoon dat de puzzel klopt. Ik hoef geen puzzelstukjes te forceren om ze te doen passen. Forceren is de grootste zonde die we kunnen maken, omdat we zouden liegen tegen onszelf en daardoor alle andere zonden met elk zijn consequenties zouden veroorzaken. Deze ultieme zonde heeft de mensheid begaan: De mensheid heeft een andere puzzel in elkaar geforceerd omdat ze God niet wilt erkennen. Daarom wordt satan de vader van de leugen genoemd: Hij heeft de mensheid wijsgemaakt dat de puzzel die naar God wijst niet waar kan zijn en geeft honderden alternatieven. Het wordt top-down bepaald, met als top de Satan, de koning van deze wereld. De juiste procedure is echter bottom-up: stukje per stukje de puzzel in elkaar leggen, eerlijk ten opzichte van jezelf, en dan zullen de contouren van het patroon van de puzzel zichtbaar worden. Als we zien dat er geen duidelijk patroon naar voren komt, dan moeten we voor onszelf toegeven dat we fout zijn en moeten we een aantal puzzelblokjes wegbreken. Deze cultuur voedt ons echter op om chaos mooi te vinden. Dit uit zich bijvoorbeeld in de moderne kunst waarbij men alles wat lelijk en leeg als mooi en diepzinnig laat percipiëren. Opdat we niet meer op zoek zouden gaan naar samenhang en daardoor tot de erkentenis komen van de richtingaanwijzer naar God en die te volgen door een coherent leven.

Als een kind een puzzel in elkaar forceert, dan weten we dat dit komt door zijn onvolwassenheid en de daarmee gepaarde dwaasheid. Een moeder of vader zal het kind op de fout wijzen en zal het helpen die stukjes uit elkaar te halen en de eerste stukjes in elkaar leggen om het kind een nieuwe goede start te laten maken. Op dezelfde liefdevolle manier benadert God ons. De mensheid schreeuwt echter in zijn koppigheid uit dat ze de puzzel prachtig in elkaar gelegd heeft is. Daarom zal de mensheid niet het patroon van de ultieme richtingsaanwijzer aanschouwen die wijst naar de smalle poort die naar het eeuwige leven in Gods glorie leidt…

2006-08-30T23:20:00.000+02:00

Het levensverhaal van JC een beetje kennende was ik wel wat onder de indruk van deze song.

I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

A bargain friend (author unknown)

2006-08-25T13:56:00.000+02:00

Lord, help me to be a 'bargain' friend. By that I mean , let those who come to me for friendship get more than they expected. For what they give me in friendship, Lord, let me remember to try to give them still more. Let them always go away suprised at the fullness of their hearts. Let me always put an extra something, an unexpected pleasure, into the hours they spend on me. Let my thoughts and words, which are my commodities, be always fresh and appealing. May my friends who come to me for understanding never find it out of stock. Remind me never to deceive them with false advertisement of myself. Thus help me to be a 'Bargain' friend, O Lord, always.

Als je van iemand houdt (Dietrich Bonhoeffer)

2006-08-24T15:56:00.000+02:00

Dietrich Bonhoeffer was een protestants theoloog die in Duitsland leefde voor en tijdens de tweede wereldoorlog.

Hij zou ondertussen 100 jaar geworden zijn, maar hij werd slechts 39. In 1943 werd hij gearresteerd en na twee jaar op bevel van Hitler opgehangen.

Tot kort voor zijn dood, ook in de gevangeniscel, bleef hij schrijven, vooral over verlatenheid en overgave.

We lezen uit één van deze geschriften:

"Als je van iemand houdt"

Als je van iemand houdt
en je bent van hem of haar gescheiden,
kan niets de leegte van zijn afwezigheid opvullen.
Je moet dat niet proberen,
je moet eenvoudig aanvaarden en volharden.
Dat klinkt erg hard, maar het is een grote troost,
want zolang de leegte blijft,
blijf je aldoor met elkaar verbonden.
Het is fout te zeggen: God vult de leegte.
Hij vult haar helemaal niet... integendeel.
Hij houdt de leegte leeg en helpt ons zo
de vroegere gemeenschap met elkaar te bewaren,
zij het dan ook in pijn.
Hoe mooier en rijker de herinneringen,
des te moeilijker de scheiding.
Maar dankbaarheid verandert de pijn
van de herinnering in stille vreugde.
De mooie dingen van vroeger
zijn geen doorn in het vlees,
maar een kostbaar geschenk dat je meedraagt.
Je moet zorgen dat je niet in je herinneringen blijft graven
en je erin verliest.
Een kostbaar geschenk bekijk je niet aldoor,
maar alleen op bijzondere ogenblikken.
Buiten die ogenblikken is het
een verborgen schat, een veilig bezit.
Dan wordt het verleden
een blijvende bron van vreugde en van kracht.

Afscheid van grootmama

2006-08-23T17:42:00.000+02:00

Ik ga je zo vreselijk missen, maar ik ben heel erg dankbaar dat ik zoveel mooie herinneringen aan jou mag hebben. We hebben zoveel gelachen, elkaar zoveel geplaagd, zoveel gediscussieërd,... Ik genoot van je liefde voor mij, van je prachtige lach,... Je was echt zo bijzonder voor mij!

Afscheid nemen

Afscheid nemen
is met zachte vingers
wat voorbij is dichtdoen
en verpakken
in goede gedachten der herinnering.

Is verwijlen
bij een brok leven
en stilstaan op de pieken
van pijn en vreugde

Afscheid nemen
is met dankbare handen
weemoedig meedragen
al wat waard is
niet te vergeten...

Is moeizaam
de draden losmaken
en uit het spinrag
der belevenissen loskomen
en achterlaten
en niet kunnen vergeten...

Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

Dealing With Skeptics (www.comereason.org)

2006-08-02T21:59:00.000+02:00

Om het eens een keertje om te draaien :)

He who asserts most prove.

SKEPTIC: "How can you Christians believe the book of Genesis to be true? All you are relying on is blind faith."
CHRISTIAN: "So, you're saying believing in something by faith alone is wrong?"
SKEPTIC: "Yes. Science has proven that stuff to be nonsense."
CHRISTIAN: "Oh really? How has science proved that?"
SKEPTIC: "Well, evolution proves it. Scientists have shown evolution to be true."
CHRISTIAN: "Scientists have shown evolution to be true? Just exactly which scientists? Exactly how have they proven evolution true?"
SKEPTIC: "All the scientists! Everyone knows that."
CHRISTIAN: "Well, there are great differences in evolutionary theory in the scientific community. Can you tell me just which version you mean? Tell me which studies you're referring to so I can look at them and address those issues."
SKEPTIC: "I don't know which studies. All I know is that they proved it!"
CHRISTIAN: "Actually, it doesn't sound like you do know. You can't tell me which scientists to which you're referring, you can't tell me which study and you can't tell me how it was proven true. Just where did you get this information?"
SKEPTIC: "It's common knowledge. You hear it all the time."
CHRISTIAN: "Just because you hear something a lot doesn't make it true. At Christmas I hear about Santa all the time, too. That doesn't make him real. What you're asking me to do is believe in evolution without providing me any evidence for doing so. I'm sorry, but I can't do that. I can't just accept what you say as true just because you say it. That would mean I would have to believe it by faith alone, and you just said that was wrong."

It seems that many people who object to Christianity want the Christians to do all the work and provide an answer for every nuance of their belief system, but don't feel that they are obligated to do the same. What bothers me is many Christians accept that premise and do a lot of work when the person objecting really wasn't interested in the truth to begin with. Now, some people are sincerely seeking answers, and we should be able to give them good reasons for believing why we believe. But if the skeptic feels it is important for you to have reasons for your faith, then they should be equally accountable.

Focus on interests, not positions (by Roger Fisher & William Ury)

2006-08-02T19:33:00.000+02:00

Deze dingen komen veel te vaak voor. Spijtig genoeg is er dan ook meestal geen 'librarian'.

Consider the story of two men quarreling in a library. One wants the window open and the other wants it closed. They bicker back and forward about how much to leave it open: a crack, halfway, three quarters of the way. No solution satisfies them both.
Enter the librarian. She asks one why he wants the window open: “to get some fresh air.” After thinking a minute, she opens wide a window in the next room, bringing in fresh air without a draft.

This story is typical. Since the parties’ problem appears to be a conflict of positions, and since their goal is to agree on a position, they naturally tend to think and talk about positions - and in the process often reach an impasse.
The librarian could not have invented the solution she did if she had focused only on the two men’s stated positions of wanting the window open or closed. Instead she looked to their underlying interest of fresh air and no draft. This difference between positions and interests is crucial.

Internationalization

2006-08-02T19:02:00.000+02:00

Interessant/grappig om te zien hoe Keynes de internationaliserende wereld 100 jaar geleden zag.

What an extraordinary episode in the economic progress of man that age was which came to an end in August 1914!... The inhabitant of London could order by telephone, sipping his morning tea in bed, the various products of the whole earth, in such quantity as he might see fit, and reasonably expect their early delivery upon his doorstep; he could at the same moment and by the same means adventure his wealth in the natural resources and new enterprises of any quarter of the world, and share, without exertion or even trouble, in their prospective fruits and advantages; or he could decide to couple the security of his fortunes with the good faith of the townspeople of any substantial municipality in any continent that fancy or information might recommend. He could secure forthwith, if he wished it, cheap and comfortable means of transit to any country or climate without passport or other formality, could dispatch his servant to the neighboring office of a bank for such supply of the precious metals as might seem convenient, and could then proceed abroad to foreign quarters, without knowledge of their religion, language, or customs, bearing coined wealth upon his person, and would consider himself greatly aggrieved and much surprised at the least interference. But, most important of all, he regarded this state of affairs as normal, certain, and permanent, except in the direction of further improvement, and any deviation from it as aberrant, scandalous, and avoidable. The projects and politics of militarism and imperialism, of racial and cultural rivalries, of monopolies, restrictions, and exclusion, which were to play the serpent to this paradise, were little more than the amusements of his daily newspaper, and appeared to exercise almost no influence at all on the ordinary course of social and economic life, the internationalization of which was nearly complete in practice. ’ J. M.. Keynes.

Verwondering

2006-07-28T19:40:00.000+02:00

In navolging van Plato beschrijft Thomas Carlyle een man, een heidens filosoof, die is opgegroeid in een verborgen grot en plotseling voor het eerst van zijn leven een zonsondergang ziet. 'Wat moet hij verwonderd zijn geweest,' zegt Carlyle. 'De mond moet hem zijn opengevallen van verbazing bij het zien van iets waar wij achteloos aan voorbijgaan. Zijn hart raakt meteen vervuld met kinderlijke ontvankelijkheid en van volwassen bedachtzaamheid. Hij ziet ineens de bloemen op het veld, de bomen, de berghellingen, de rivieren, de branding, de grote, helder blauwe zee. Hij ziet alles bewegen door het ruisen van de wind. Hij ziet donkere wolken samenballen die de ene keer regen voortbrengen, de andere keer hagel, of bliksemschichten. Wat is dat allemaal? Wat heeft dat te betekenen? Ten diepste weet geen mens het. Niemand kan dit ooit doorgronden.
Hoe anders vergaat het ons die niet in zo'n grot zijn groot geworden, die zo gewend zijn geraakt aan alles om ons heen dat we nauwelijks enige verwondering meer kennen. 'We hebben het probleem niet opgelost door superieure inzichten,' schrijft Carlyle,'maar door onze ongeëvenaarde oppervlakkigheid, achteloosheid en gebrek aan inzicht. Niet ons denken heeft onze verwondering doen ophoeden. We noemen het vuur uit de onweerswolk 'elektriciteit' en steken er een heel betoog over af. We bootsen hetzelfde na met glasvezel en zijde. Maar wat is dit eigenlijk? Waar komt het vandaan? Waar gaat het naar toe? De wetenschap heeft veel voor ons gedaan, maar het is een arme wetenschap die zich verbergt voor de grote, diepe, heilige oneindigheid van het Niet Weten waarin wij nooit kunnen doordringen; de Zee waarop alle wetenschap drijft als een dunne laag aan de oppervlakte. Want ondanks al onze wetenschap blijft deze wereld een wonder; voor wie erover nadenkt, is zij een, onbegrijpelijk, wonderbaarlijk en betoverend geheim.'

Postmoderne mens

2006-07-28T19:18:00.000+02:00

De postmoderne mens kan je vergelijken met een acteur die verschillende drama's op verschillende podia moet opvoeren zonder dat er enige samenhang bestaat tussen deze drama's. (MacIntyre)

Article: Everything I needed to know about life I learned from a jigsaw puzzle (auteur onbekend)

2006-06-24T14:36:00.000+02:00

1. Don't force a fit--if something is meant to be, it will come together naturally.
2. When things aren't going so well, take a break. Everything will look different when you return.
3. Be sure to look at the big picture. Getting hung up on the little pieces only leads to frustration.
4. Perseverance pays off. Every important puzzle went together bit by bit, piece by piece.
5. When one spot stops working, move to another. But be sure to come back later (see #4).
6. The creator of the puzzle gave you the picture as a guidebook. Refer to the Creator's guidebook often.
7. Variety is the spice of life. It's the different colours and patterns that make the puzzle interesting.
8. Working together with friends and family makes any task fun.
9. Establish the border first. Boundaries give a sense of security and order.
10. Don't be afraid to try different combinations. Some matches are surprising.
11. Take time often to celebrate your successes (even little ones).
12. Anything worth doing takes time and effort. A great puzzle can't be rushed.
13. When you finally reach the last piece, don't be sad. Rejoice in the masterpiece you've made and enjoy a well-deserved rest.

Freddy in Leuven (www.shellac.be)

2006-05-19T22:37:00.000+02:00

On Attitudes and Excellence (by Charles Swindoll)

2006-05-19T04:23:00.000+02:00

I feel compelled to share this piece of advice, which I've carried around with me for over 20 years:

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do.

It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill.

It will make or break a company ...a church ...a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.

We cannot change our past ...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.

The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

And so it is with you ...we are in charge of our attitudes.”

Bill Swanson's Unwritten Rules of Management

2006-05-19T03:37:00.000+02:00

Zalig gratis boekje met tips allerhande over hoe te functioneren in een bedrijf, organisatie of kerk.

William Swanson, Chairman and CEO of Raytheon Corporation, spent his entire career at Raytheon, and was later asked if he could put his rules down on paper. So he did: in 3-inch-by-5-inch spiral-bound notebooks handed out to executives and customers.

For those of you who haven't seen them, here they are for your review:

1. Learn to say, "I don't know." If used when appropriate, it will be used often.
2. It is easier to get into something than it is to get out of it.
3. If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much.
4. Look for what is missing. Many know how to improve what's there, but few can see what isn't there.
5. Viewgraph rule: When something appears on a viewgraph (an overhead transparency), assume the world knows about it, and deal with it accordingly.
6. Work for a boss with whom you are comfortable telling it like it is. Remember that you can't pick your relatives, but you can pick your boss.
7. Constantly review developments to make sure that the actual benefits are what they are supposed to be. Avoid Newton's Law.
8. However menial and trivial your early assignments may appear, give them your best efforts.
9. Persistence or tenacity is the disposition to persevere in spite of difficulties, discouragement, or indifference. Don't be known as a good starter but a poor finisher.
10. In completing a project, don't wait for others; go after them, and make sure it gets done.
11. Confirm your instructions and the commitments of others in writing. Don't assume it will get done!
12. Don't be timid; speak up. Express yourself, and promote your ideas.
13. Practice shows that those who speak the most knowingly and confidently often end up with the assignment to get it done.
14. Strive for brevity and clarity in oral and written reports.
15. Be extremely careful of the accuracy of your statements.
16. Don't overlook the fact that you are working for a boss.* Keep him or her informed. Avoid surprises!* Whatever the boss wants takes top priority.
17. Promises, schedules, and estimates are important instruments in a well-ordered business.* You must make promises. Don't lean on the often-used phrase, "I can't estimate it because it depends upon many uncertain factors."
18. Never direct a complaint to the top. A serious offense is to "cc" a person's boss.
19. When dealing with outsiders, remember that you represent the company. Be careful of your commitments.
20. Cultivate the habit of "boiling matters down" to the simplest terms. An elevator speech is the best way.
21. Don't get excited in engineering emergencies. Keep your feet on the ground.
22. Cultivate the habit of making quick, clean-cut decisions.
23. When making decisions, the pros are much easier to deal with than the cons. Your boss wants to see the cons also.
24. Don't ever lose your sense of humor.
25. Have fun at what you do. It will reflect in your work. No one likes a grump except another grump.

Article: The Ethical Revolution (www.allfor1.com)

2006-05-19T03:22:00.001+02:00

Revolutie door volharden in ethische keuzes die je maakt. Geen slecht idee om lijnen te trekken en iemand te zoeken waarbij je wederzijds verantwoording aflegt bij het navolgen van die keuzes.

We are faced with a thousand choices everyday. Some choices are big. Should I date that person? Do I want to go to college? What do I believe about God?

Some choices are small. Coke or Pepsi? Where do I want to eat lunch? Am I going to take a shower today or not? (maybe that one’s a big decision…)

Many of our choices will affect other people. It’s said, “It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone.” But can you really know what hurts and what doesn’t? How do you know where to draw the line?

Ethics help you draw the line. Ethics are choices that lead to positive outcomes for everyone. Some people base their decisions on what they can get out of life; others understand that their choices affect other people, too. Ethics go beyond what’s right or wrong; beyond what’s legal or illegal. Ethics are choices that are good for everyone.

Ethical decisions have two parts. First, you have to draw the line (decide where your boundaries are on an issue). Second, you have to walk the line (maintain those boundaries).

Once you’ve drawn the line, make your commitment public. Make a pledge and let the revolution begin. Ethical living isn’t just measured by an impassioned speech, or a decision made at a rally, it’s measured by endurance. It’s standing for what you believe over time.

Fair trade (www.breeze.be)

2006-05-19T03:22:00.000+02:00

Article: The all for one pyramid (www.allfor1.org)

2006-05-17T15:40:00.000+02:00

Ik hou ervan hoe er in dit artikel de aandacht gevestigd wordt op wat er zou moeten gebeuren 'behind the scenes'. In een ministry is enkel het topje van de ijsberg zichtbaar, en daar wordt vaak hartstochtelijk naar toegewerkt om dat mooi in orde te krijgen. Maar hetgene wat er vaak echt toe doet om een succesvolle ministry te krijgen gebeurt 'behind the scenes'. Maar hoe vaak dat dat onderschat wordt! In dit artikel wordt het toegepast op jeugdbediening (het wordt verder praktisch uitgewerkt op de website )

The majority of an iceberg cannot be seen as 90% of its mass lies below the waterline. The unseen share is actually what forms the shape that is visible. In reality, if the structure below the waterline falls apart, the 10% that is noticed fails to exist.

Over the last few decades, the church has placed more emphasis on the seen than the unseen. Success has been measured more by how well youth ministry was prepared, programmed, and presented since those areas tend to be tangible and easier to quantify. As a result, the efforts needed to produce youth in ministry have severely suffered as the context of youth in ministry gave way to content for youth ministry.

The following diagram is based upon Luke 5:1-11 and describes how the All for One principles apply to producing youth in ministry.

---------
ABOVE the waterline is where young leaders spend their time in ministry.

ABOVE the waterline includes: prepare, program, and present. Those items are reserved exclusively to be done to youth, for youth, and by youth.

BELOW the waterline is where adult leaders spend their time in ministry.

BELOW the waterline includes: equip, encourage, and empower, rally, resource, and release, and believe, belong, and become. These principles go beyond the surface of the situation to the real depth of discipleship.

BELOW the waterline might be what Jesus is talking about when He tells His disciples to “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.” (Luke 5:3-5).

BELOW the waterline takes great effort but also reaps the real reward for which Jesus has called us to fish.

BELOW the waterline produces the “catch” Jesus intended and requires a greater effort by a larger team of committed adult leaders.

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As young people step forward to make plans and lead kingdom causes, adults work behind the scenes to make sure they are truly cared for and set up for greater success as youth in ministry. The “tip of the iceberg” for people to see is a generation of youth learning life in community, discovering their unique role in ministry, and transforming their world for Jesus Christ.

Let's go out (toothpastefordinner.com)

2006-05-17T15:17:00.000+02:00

great love

2006-05-17T15:07:00.000+02:00

Mother Theresa is a woman whose name has become synonymous with greatness. This correlation may have resulted from her philosophy of greatness. She simply believes,
"We can do no great things; only small things with great love."

Zin

2006-05-17T15:04:00.000+02:00

Het is zinloos je af te vragen wat de zin van het leven is tenzij je er van uitgaat dat er een god bestaat. (B. Russell)

Article: from the field (by david nelson)

2006-05-16T14:40:00.000+02:00

Het belang van relaties in bediening

“The volunteers are more important than the people they serve.” This quote has recently challenged and changed the way I do ministry as a youth pastor. It’s not that the students aren’t important because they are; it’s just that if I was going to prioritize them and my volunteer staff, the volunteers needed to come first in my heart, passion, and actions.

This quote is revolutionary for me because I got into youth ministry so I do what I enjoy most, which is hang out with students. But this would mean changing my thinking and now focusing on volunteers instead of kids. I haven’t cut myself off from interaction with students, it’s just now I spend way more time and energy reaching out to and ministering to my volunteer staff then ever before.

A specific way that I’ve applied this every year is by having a getaway with my whole team up to a large cabin in Lake Arrowhead for a weekend. For 2 and half days there is no agenda. The dozen or so of us just simply hang out and bond over meals, card games, and walks around the area. No ministry planning, vision casting or training. Just simply spending unrushed, uninterrupted time with each other. Now I purposely and actively sought out certain staff that I knew I needed to catch up on and encourage or challenge them in a certain way, but as far as they all new, I had basically created a vacation for everyone. And they loved it.

My team now feels so much more connected than ever before and also just have a lot more fun together. And that is contagious. In my opinion, this one key twice a year getaway helped our staff grow numerically and in longevity in their commitment. It’s bred loyalty. And this has greatly blessed our ministry to the students. Because by me being passionate about my team staff and they really sensing and seeing it, it’s made them equally passionate about each other and the students. The trickle down effect has been cool to watch. I’ve had students remark, “Wow, you guys genuinely like each other huh!”

And that has been a proud moment that’s carried a lot of momentum for our whole ministry.

David Nelson
Seacoast Community Church

Article: Communication - A Key to Warmth in Marriage (by Jim Burns)

2006-05-16T14:26:00.000+02:00

Onthouden voor als ik ooit trouw :)

The trait that is most closely linked to the success or failure of your marriage is your ability to communicate. Sometimes in youth ministry marriages, we develop some very poor communication habits.

Dr. John Gottman is one of the world’s leading experts on marriage. He claims that he often can determine if a couple is on the road to divorce by observing them interact on an issue of conflict. Much of Dr. Gottman’s finding centers around the use of negativity as poor communication. In his excellent book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, he writes about six poor habits of communication that are detrimental to building intimacy and developing healthy communication. (These poor habits will help you measure how you are doing with your spouse in this area. If you find yourself needing help, then I suggest you talk with someone about your communication. Remember, where there is no counsel, people fall; in the multitude of counselors, there is safety.) Dr. Gottman’s six poor communication habits are:

1. Harsh Start ups
2. The Four Horsemen: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling
3. Flooding
4. Body Language
5. Failed Repair Attempts
6. Bad Memories

Let me explain in my own words the dynamics behind these habits of poor communication. I think, like me, you will see yourself in many of them.

1. Harsh Start Ups: Harsh start ups put the other person in the defensive before the conversation has a chance.

2. The Four Horsemen: Dr. Gottman claims that certain types of negativity are more lethal to your relationship. His four horsemen are 1) Criticism: Complaints are normal but criticism deals more with your spouse’s character and personality. 2) Contempt: This is long simmering negative thoughts about your partner that turn into disrespect. 3) Defensiveness: As we discussed earlier in the chapter this approach rarely ever works and usually turns the conversation into a blame game. 4) Stonewalling: Eventually your partner tunes you out. Raymond wasn’t willing to work at communication with Sylvia; he simply crawled into his cave and the conversation stopped for the time being.

3. Flooding: This happens when you or your spouse bombards the communication with negativity whether it is in the form of criticism, contempt, defensiveness or any other negative approach. Some people would call consistent nagging a form of flooding. One man told me that when his wife starts flooding and nagging at him, he feels like she is taking her hand and just tapping on his chest until he blows up.

4. Body Language: Authorities tell us that good communication is more about body language than actual words. When a person shuts the other person out with their body language, usually the healthy communication is over. Literally sometimes their body language is evident that they have quit listening. It is too difficult to stay that intense.

5. Failed Repair Attempts: A repair attempt is when a couple puts the brakes on the tension in the relationship and deescalates the conversation. Obviously there are times with intense communication where a couple needs to take a timeout. In a relationship that isn’t working, a failed repair attempt doesn’t work at decreasing the tension or lowering the stress level. Constant failed repair attempts are like that stress fracture that just keeps getting worse.

6. Bad Memories: When a couple is consumed with negativity it not only affects their past but it can place danger on their future. In almost all cases there are very good and happy memories in every relationship but if things are too negative that they can’t remember the good times, the relationship is deteriorating.

These are all bad habits, but quite normal. If you are struggling in the communication department of your marriage, then I strongly suggest you get the help you need to work out the communication issues. Next time, I will write about what you can do to enhance the communication in your marriage.

Look for Jim’s new book, Creating an Intimate Marriage

Jim Burns
HomeWord.com

Plans

2006-05-15T18:37:00.000+02:00

We aren't supposed to ask God to bless our plans; we're supposed to ask God for His plans.